There seems no plan because it is all plan. – C.S. Lewis
Monthly Archives: February 2012
What is “quiet time”?
“Quiet time” is a churchy or religious term for time spent alone with Jesus. Common activities during this time are reading the Bible, prayer, writing in a journal, and listening to or singing worship music. For a variety of reasons, some people have moved away from using this term in recent years. To some people it has been overused, to some it sounds far more boring than it is, to some it simply is not a good description of what it is: time spent with Jesus. My dad calls it “God time,” I call it “quality time with Jesus,” another friend calls it “sweet time with Jesus!” (always with an exclamation point). What do you call it?
Filed under life
Missing Friends
One of the things I am looking forward to about heaven is that none of my friends will be dating and getting married (Mark 12) and none of us will be pressed for time. Seriously, 2010 was a record-breaking year of weddings and I have had six friends get married so far this year. Don’t get me wrong, I love to celebrate my friends’ happiness but I grow weary of “losing” and missing one close friend after another.
Most of the time, I enjoy being single. Something I dislike, though, is being left out because I do not have a significant other to do social activities with my friends and their sweeties. Some friends vanish when they start dating someone. Some manage to squeeze in “hang out time” until wedding plans get busy. After the wedding, the happy couple moves or is busy spending time together, with their families, and with their “couple friends.” If I was friends with the wife first, the two of us might get together occasionally (especially if I ask often). If I was friends with the husband, we don’t really hang out anymore unless we travel in the same social circles.
I’d Like to Tell Them…
You should understand I knew you were fantastic long before you met your sweetie
You should understand I am absolutely thrilled that you are happy together
You should understand sometimes I just miss my friend
I understand we are all busy
I understand we both prayed for you to find this person (and I don’t regret that!)
I understand wanting to spend lots and lots of time with your sweetie
I understand friendships change over the course of time
I understand life has seasons and this is a crazy one
I understand we still care about each other
I understand quality time means more to me than to some
I understand wanting to have “couple friends” when you are part of a couple
I understand, but that does not make me miss you less
I understand.
Life Lessons (or How to Cope)
Step 1: Realize that not everything is about me.
Step 2: Weigh the opportunity cost. If I am upset, hurt, or annoyed by the changes to our closeness, I can choose to stew in that emotion or I can put more effort into staying maintaining the friendship.
Step 3: Decide that my close friends are, of course, worth the extra effort that it may take to get through this hectic season without losing touch completely.
Step 4: Be the social instigator. Invite friends to do things we both enjoy. Initiate social events for groups of friends. Try setting up a standing appointment. I have coffee* with two girl friends on the second Thursday of the month. Sometimes one of us misses or we cancel altogether, but the recurring plans mean that we still get together more often than when we tried to remember to set up one appointment at a time!
Step 5: Recognize that there is a season to let a friend go, but still remember and appreciate the past relationship.
*For us, “having coffee” means we will get together and talk and, at some point, we will discuss having coffee. Coffee consumption does not always occur, but that is still what we call it.
Originally posted on Practical Adventure, 13 October 2011
Filed under advice, celebrations, life, weddings
Telling the Truth
In a time of deceit telling the truth is a revolutionary act. -George Orwell
February 20, 2012 · 4:46 pm
A Year of Weddings and Births
2010 was a record year for me in terms of celebrating my friends’ engagements, weddings, and babies! If you ever need ideas for wedding or baby showers, bachelorette parties, wedding or baby gifts, weddings, or bridesmaid responsibilities, just let me know. Here are some of the highlights of that year by the numbers.
- 13 babies were born to my friends
- 11 couples* got married
- 6 couples* are currently engaged (at the end of the year)
- 6 showers attended** (the laws of physics insist that I can only be in one place at a time)
- 6 months since my promotion to accountant
- 5-year anniversary of working in accounting
- 5 weddings attended (see previous comment on physics)
- 4 graduate classes completed (bringing my total earned hours to 16)
- 4 college football games attended
- 3-year anniversary of moving into my apartment
- 2 babies currently expected by my friends (that I know of)
- 2 times my tips were published on Lifehacker
*Where one or both people are my friends or acquaintances.
**Includes both wedding and baby showers.
Originally posted at Practical Adventure, 1 January 2011.
Filed under celebrations, life, milestones, weddings
