Low: By the end of the day on Saturday, I felt as stuffed as if I had spent the whole day gorging on delicious food (which is true!). That is not much of a low but it is what I have!
Highs:
1) With the help of our mom, my sister planned and hosted the best wedding shower I have ever attended. (And I am not just saying that because it was mine!) She took all my “It would be fun if…” suggestions and blended them with her creativity to make a fun, laid-back shower. We invited ladies of all ages and let the youngest girls volunteer to be models for the toilet paper wedding dress game. I am not sure whether they had more fun letting us older ladies dress them up or tearing off the toilet paper at the end! We had delicious brunch food and a coffee/tea bar with my favorite homemade gingerbread syrup, too.
2) On Saturday afternoon, our group of five girls met up for coffee since the three out-of-towners were here for the shower. (We have been close since we were in senior high girls Bible study together). We caught up on new details and enthusiastically chatted about weddings, babies, pregnancy, husbands, and whether it is easier to parent boys or girls. (So far there are three sons in our group with another expected in May, so none of us really know.)
What were your lows and highs from the past week?
Lows & Highsis a Stories from the Stairs weekly feature. Feel free to join in by posting your lows and highs in the comments or by posting a link to your lows and highs blog post.
Brian’s aunt and uncle hosted a lovely, fun engagement party for us. We were able to introduce several of our family and relatives for the first time and everyone seemed to have a terrific time!
1. Look at the smile and dimples on that baby! I have a feeling those will get him out of trouble quite a few times when he gets older. (Credit: Photo actually taken by my dad, a.k.a. Eli’s Gramps.)
2. Brian wanted to be sure we took this photo the night he proposed.
3. Intentionally blurry view of my Christmas tree. It is called bokeh, which I take to mean “artistically out of focus.”
4. Rag quilt for picnics, football games, and movie nights. Made for Brian with lots of guidance from my mom because I had never made one before.
5. Christmas Eve photo with my future in-laws. They have a terrific Christmas village but this does not do it justice.
6. Eli with his Great-Grandma at our postponed Christmas celebration.
If you noticed that my last two Lows & Highs posts left out a day, you may have wondered about my counting skills. The omission was intentional because, as someone wise told me, “That day deserves its own post.”
Brian proposed on December 11.
The Disclaimer
If you don’t like proposal stories, it’s cool if you want to stop reading now and join in on the next post. If you have not already read Ping-Pong Ball Sweetness, please do because it gives some context.
The Set-up
On Tuesday, December 11, I was on my way to work when I received a text message from Brian that he sent me an email and the link inside would explain. When I got to work and read the text, I opened the email to read, “Abby, Here’s the start of a little something to celebrate your graduation. Love, Brian.” When I followed the link inside, it took me to a YouTube video that was set as private and I could not view it. I sent off a text of my own and Brian had the video fixed a short time later.
The Videos
The video was of Brian explaining that he wanted to do something special for my upcoming graduation, so he made me several videos. Every couple hours, he emailed the link to another video. The six videos featured him in different locations that are meaningful to me around my hometown: The campus building where we have weekly college student Bible study, the adult ed center where I volunteer, my parents’ house, and so on. In each place, he told me something he notices and admires about me.
Mid-afternoon, Brian sent the fifth video and texted me, “I just hit send on the next one. Hopefully these have made u smile all day.”
I replied, “Oh, they have definitely made me smile! If I didn’t already want to spend forever with u, the videos would have convinced me.”
“That reaction makes me smile. I’m glad I’m sending them all in one day instead of piecemeal.”
Around 3:30 p.m., he sent the last video where he sat in his office over four hours away and said even though I said I did not want graduation gifts, he had some help and a present was waiting for me at home.
I worked the next hour in suspense until I could leave for the day. Since I was sure Brian was waiting by his phone to hear my reaction to his gift, I sent him a text that I was on my way home but had to stop at the store for a few things first and would let him know when I got home.
The Question
At home, I entered through the back door and saw a path lined with ping-pong balls, leading through the kitchen to the living room. I shed my bags and coat and followed the path to where Brian stood waiting in a ping-pong-ball heart.
Surprised, I asked, “What are you doing here?” as I walked over to greet him. Yes, it was a silly question. As Brian pointed out later, I should have known as soon as I saw the ping-pong-ball path but I was surprised to the point of being flabbergasted because I came home expecting a nice bouquet of flowers or something similar. My memories are blissful and a bit hazy after this point. He got down on one knee to propose, and then pulled out a ring box and opened it but I could not take my eyes off his face. After I said, “Yes, of course” and we were hugging, he said something about putting on the ring. “Oh, yeah, I didn’t actually see it before.”
He showed it to me again and helped me put it on. Then he told me my plans for the evening had changed and our parents were meeting us for dinner at six. What he did not tell me was that his sister and my sister, brother-in-law, and baby nephew were also meeting us! It was a sweet surprise and we had a terrific time celebrating with our families.
After Brian and I recounted the story of how he proposed, my mom looked over and told Brian he did a good job, “You gave her a story.”
Lows:
Inconvenient: I had to miss one of the conference sessions and get up super early (4:15 a.m.) on Saturday to take a certification exam (Praxis for ESOL) required for my graduate program. The upside is that the test is over and I feel comfortable enough with the material that I may not have to retake it.
Exhausting: On Saturday, I was awake for over 22 hours of what felt like non-stop activity that started with the Praxis and ended when our group returned around 2:00 a.m. from its annual IHOP run. I enjoyed the day though, and I do not know what I could have left out.
Highs:
Bonding: At the conference, I enjoyed getting to know our students better and meeting people from other campuses, particularly the other two-year college we partnered with for the weekend. Combining our two groups gave students the benefit of each one’s strengths and they seemed to enjoy each other. See a photo of the combined group below. Don’t we have fun students?
Sweetness: I also enjoyed attending sessions & workshops with Brian, who also brought students to the conference. Two of the girls teased us for not being publicly affectionate and enthusiastic about seeing each other, saying we didn’t act like we even liked each other. They approved a little more when they saw us holding hands later but I think they were disappointed that our initial greeting was not more like a scene out of a romantic movie. Their playful, teasing disapproval cracked me up!
Feel free to post your lows and highs or link to a lows-and-highs post in the comments.
Yesterday was my mom’s birthday. She has always been a scientist at heart and firmly believes learning does not end when “school time” does. She lives as if life is an adventure with field research and experiments and a soundtrack and sound effects. Although she is an almost-irrepressible optimist, I remember a few times she was discouraged or frustrated or stressed.
If I could send an encouraging note back about 20 years, here is what I would say:
Mom,
You really are making a difference but it takes a while to see it. We do listen but do not always do what you say at first… That will be evident when we grow up and quote your words back to you or to others. From you we learn how to be lifelong learners, adventurers, and experimenters.
I eventually grow out of being quite so prissy and germophobic, but some of your medical stories still gross me out. Sara’s bedside manner becomes more compassionate. People say she sounds and acts more like you all the time. Luke stops being scared of strangers and ends up being very good at public speaking. He is a hard worker, too. Ben still loves spending time with people but learns what subjects not to bring up in polite conversation. He listens when you tell him not to comment on a lady’s age, weight, or her very nice facial hair.
All four of us will forever remember the one time you “lose it” and stomp your foot and shout at us. Don’t worry too much about that when it happens; we laugh about the story and use it to tell people you have the occasional frustrating day too.
We still like our family and enjoy getting together, even though visits and calls are not as often as you or Dad may like. We have built our own lives though, made our own choices, and made the faith we learned from you our own. Thanks for not giving up!
Confession: I have ambivalent feelings about bacon.* I do not hate it but do not love it either. I can take it or leave it so, given the option, I usually leave it. (I would rather my unhealthy food consumption be things I really enjoy.) Feel free to commence teasing and declaring me un-American as some of my bacon-loving male coworkers did… until they realized the perks of my bacon ambivalence.
I recently went out for dinner with a group of coworker-friends. I was chatting quietly with the new girl (she’s been here for months, but will be the new girl until a newer one comes along) when she mentioned she wanted the chicken club sandwich with American cheese and no bacon. I replied, “I think I’m going to order that too, but we should get the bacon on the side.”
She looked confused, “Why?”
I looked around the table at the six men caught up in their own conversations. “See all these guys? Most of them would be very happy to eat the bacon we don’t want… and it’s already included in the price of the sandwich. I’ve learned I should almost never say no to bacon because someone else wants it if I don’t.”
One of the guys across the table from us grinned, “I am SO glad I’m sitting at this end of the table!”**
Showing people we care does not always require grand gestures. It certainly takes effort to observe them and get to know what they appreciate. It also takes attentiveness and initiative to watch for and take opportunities. It is well worth the effort, though, to remind people they matter to us.
*Yes, I am talking about real, made-from-a-pig bacon and not the turkey impostor that tastes more like salted cardboard than actual meat.
**Results may vary; not everyone appreciates bacon.
