Tag Archives: perspective

by | May 1, 2013 · 12:00 pm

Lows & Highs: 4/17-4/30/13

Lows:
1) I started drafting a tentative schedule for the day of the wedding and it looked like I would have to start getting ready at 6:30 a.m. (which seems far too early).  Brian and I talked about what truly matters to us on the schedule, though, and pared it down so I can start at seven. I know it is only 30 minutes later, but it seems much more reasonable in my mind.

2) I went clothes shopping by myself, spent hours trying on lots of stuff, and did not find garments that fit well. I finally stopped for a hazelnut Americano and a blueberry scone when I realized I was tired, frustrated, and hungry. I felt much better after that.

Highs:
1) Brian and I met up with our good friends, Jon and Priscilla, for dinner and our last scheduled premarital counseling meeting before the wedding. (Jon is going to be our officiant.) Since we had not seen them in weeks, we had a good visit with lots of catching up on plans and travels.

2) I went shopping for wedding and reception decor and found everything I was looking for that day at very reasonable prices!

3) I tried on my wedding dress for my first fitting and it looked even better than I remembered! In addition, jewelry I already have looks terrific with it.

What were your lows and highs from the past week?

Lows & Highs is a Stories from the Stairs weekly feature. Feel free to join in by posting your lows and highs in the comments or by posting a link to your lows and highs blog post.

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by | April 18, 2013 · 6:00 am

Simple, Summery, & Fun

Wedding Planning2

Have you ever planned a wedding? Boy, can it be a lot of work!

I have attended, helped plan, and bridesmaid-ed lots of weddings, so I’ve seen how much work wedding planning can be. Now that we are planning our own wedding, Brian and I have a philosophy that the important thing is the two of us committing to each other before God and the rest is just a party with people who care about us.

We want to enjoy our brief season of being engaged and to spend the majority of our time preparing for a lifetime of marriage instead of for a one-day wedding.

Early in planning, I told him, “I think we need to communicate clearly about what’s important to each of us. If neither one of us has a strong opinion about something, we should pick the simplest, least expensive option or eliminate it altogether. Like, if neither of us care what kind of mints we have at the reception, maybe we shouldn’t have mints.”

“I agree and I don’t really care about mints.”

“Okay, bad example. I care and we’re having cream cheese mints.”

For some reason, he laughed really hard.

We still laugh about that conversation, but it greatly simplified the planning. For example:

  • Our theme (wedding themes are trendy, right?) is simple, summery, and fun.
  • Decorations will be cute but minimal and I will probably delegate them to friends who are better at it than I am.
  • We are having an afternoon wedding because more people will be able to make it a day trip.
  • Plus, a cake reception lets us include more people on our budget than a dinner. (We are going to have a light lunch of party subs and chips and fruit with our family and wedding party between photos and the ceremony, though.)
  • We made our guest list in a spreadsheet so we (read: my mom) could do a mail merge to print address labels with minimal effort. The invitations do not require any folding or assembling, so we will just stick them in envelopes.
  • We chose music we like but that is not particularly traditional for weddings.
  • We will have our favorite cake flavors (lemon and red velvet) and some of our favorite drinks (iced tea and peach Italian soda).

Do you have any ideas for simplified wedding planning?

If you need a fun, talented photographer in the Tulsa, Oklahoma area, check out Keri (she didn’t ask me to say that). She is our engagement/wedding photographer and I really like her!

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by | March 3, 2013 · 8:30 pm

Field Notes on Boys #1-5

I am absolutely not an expert on boys. My information is based completely on my experience and observations from years of living with brothers and having friends who are boys. Many of these can apply to men as well as boys. This set of Field Notes is mainly addressed to girls.

1. Boys do not think the way girls do. (In general, I find people do not all think the same regardless of gender, so it is best to not assume anyone thinks like I do.)

2. Communicating through hints and subtlety usually does not work, so be clear about what you think, feel, or want.
A. Side Note: To improve the clarity of your communication, think about what message you want the other person to get. Summarize that message in one or two sentences. Tell the other person the summary.
B. Side Note: Just because you are clear does not mean they will do what you want.

2. Boys look for reactions. If you like something a boy does or says, respond positively and promptly. Do not try to play it cool or ignore them. They want a positive reaction. If they do not get it, they may try for a negative one.
A. Side Note: Sometimes they try for a negative reaction simply because it is fun to see girls get annoyed, embarrassed, or freaked out.

3. Boys generally love to watch girls get embarrassed, especially if they turn bright red! (See previous Note about reactions.)

4. Boys really can and do think nothing sometimes. This is very relaxing for them, so please do not stress them out by insisting they must have been thinking about something.

5. When young boys do not know what to do, they initiate a random, usually playful, physical altercation. (See earlier Note about reactions.) When one of my brothers was about ten, he saw me reading on the sofa and proceeded to fling himself onto, sprawling the entire length of said sofa and squishing my book. While freeing my book, I asked him nicely twice to get off, to which he just grinned and acted like he could not move. I marked my place in the book, hooked an arm under one of his legs and grabbed his ear with my other hand. Before he could react, I stood up and he hollered loudly as I carried him into another room where our mom was reading. “Mom,” I said depositing him next to her, “You need to deal with your son.” He still indignantly bemoans how “mean” I was in that instance, but he does so with a mischievous grin.

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by | February 13, 2013 · 12:00 pm

Lows & Highs: 2/4-2/12/13

Lows
1. Tuesday night at class, I spent the first hour doing the administrative work of testing instead of the teaching work I love. I was grateful to have my assisting teacher there and she cheerfully went through the planned activity with the class until I could get there. I did enjoy getting to teach and interact with students during the second half of the class, though.

2. I keep growing frustrated – mostly at myself – for being unable to do everything on my to-do list. Between my own expectations and those of others, my to-do list grows long in a hurry and I am still unskilled at delegating and telling people “no.” I keep forgetting that God gives me enough time to accomplish everything He wants me to do but not necessarily to do everything I think I must do.

Highs
1. Friday night at class, I taught a lesson based on drawing your own family tree and got all but one of my fifteen students chattering enthusiastically and practicing their English!

2. On a shopping trip in a nearby city with my parents, we accomplished all our errands and went to Panda Express and Starbucks! Oh, and my dad decided to join Twitter while we were on that shopping trip. So far he doesn’t tweet but treats it more like a personalized news feed.

What were your lows and highs from the past week?

Lows & Highs is a Stories from the Stairs weekly feature. Feel free to join in by posting your lows and highs in the comments or by posting a link to your lows and highs blog post.

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by | January 8, 2013 · 10:00 am

2013 Theme Word – Enjoy

My theme word for 2013 is enjoy. It means to take joy, “to experience with joy; take pleasure in… to find or experience pleasure for (oneself).”
Enjoy Button
Philippians 4:4 and 1 Peter 1:6 both encourage and command joy. Since joy is commanded, it must be a choice and not a feeling or a mere product of circumstance.
Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again—rejoice! – Philippians 4:4 (NLT)
So be truly glad.There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you have to endure many trials for a little while. – 1 Peter 1:6 (NLT)

I am sure 2013, like years before it, holds times of all sorts: celebration, sadness, hilarity, stress, change, adventure. There will be mundane days and milestones. There will be events I have planned for and ones that may catch me off-guard. In all these circumstances and any others that come along, I will practice purposely experiencing them with joy and enjoying who God is and what He does.

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by | January 6, 2013 · 6:00 am

2012 Theme Word: Undaunted

My theme word for 2012 leapt out at me from John 16:33 (Amplified), “I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have [perfect] peace and confidence. In the world you have tribulation and trials and distress and frustration; but be of good cheer [take courage; be confident, certain, undaunted]! For I have overcome the world. [I have deprived it of power to harm you and have conquered it for you.]“

My thought process went something like this: ‘Undaunted,’ that’s a good word. Whoa, wait a minute, God. You don’t mean that’s my word for the year do You? I don’t think I like it anymore. Let’s do another one like ‘liberty’ from last year. That was nice. ‘Undaunted’ is a tough word and I get nervous just thinking about what kind of year You may be preparing me for if that is my theme word… which is pretty much the opposite of ‘undaunted,’ huh? Okay, I guess I will be learning what it means to be undaunted this year.

I researched the etymology of undaunted and its root word daunt:
un|daunt|ed (adj)
1. undismayed; not discouraged; not forced to abandon purpose or effort.
2. undiminished in courage or valor; not giving way to fear; intrepid.

daunt (v)
1. to overcome with fear; intimidate.
2. to lessen the courage of; dishearten.
From the Latin domitare, ‘to tame.’

Undaunted means choosing to be untamed by fear or intimidation. It means not retreating when scared, not letting fear or discouragement rule me.

Many times this year, I returned to Philippians 4:13 (Amplified), “I have strength for all things in Christ Who empowers me [I am ready for anything and equal to anything through Him Who infuses inner strength into me; I am self-sufficient in Christ's sufficiency.]” and 1 John 4:18 (TLB) “We need have no fear of someone who loves us perfectly; His perfect love for us eliminates all dread of what He might do to us. If we are afraid, it is for fear of what He might do to us, and shows that we are not fully convinced that He really loves us.”

I learned that living an undaunted life is more about God’s faithfulness than it is about me. I need to know Him more deeply because He is the reason I can and should be undaunted.

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by | December 6, 2012 · 6:00 am

Lows & Highs: 11/28-12/4/12

Tuesday was our last campus Bible study for the semester. I know it makes me sound old, but where has the time gone?!

Low: Monday was a stressful and exhausting at work and then I left work and grew frustrated trying to finish my Teacher Work Sample (TWS) as my final project.

High: Tuesday I did the last proofread of my TWS and submitted it to my professor… My very last project of my very last class of the masters degree I have been working on for over three years.

I cannot put into words how excited and relieved I am!

 

What were your lows and highs from this week?

Lows & Highs is a Stories from the Stairs weekly feature. Feel free to join in by posting your lows and highs in the comments or by posting a link to your lows and highs blog post.

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by | October 29, 2012 · 6:00 am

31 Days of Random Questions – Day 29

How did you get your name? What does it mean?

My parents told me they gave me the only name they agreed on at the time: Abby.

Not Abigail, just Abby, because Dad thought Abigail sounded prissy and he did not want a prissy daughter. It did not really help, but he did try and I was eventually nurtured out of the prissiness.

I get amused when people occasionally call me Abigail. It does not bother me – I view it as a nickname. If they ask, though, I smile and tell them I’m Abby, not Abigail, but they can call me either one.

Abby comes from Abigail which means “my father is joy” or “my father’s joy,” depending on how you translate the original Hebrew.

If you don’t know what your name means, I suggest these two sites:
http://www.ourbabynamer.com/meaning-of-Abby.html
http://www.behindthename.com/name/abigail

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by | October 23, 2012 · 6:00 am

31 Days of Random Questions – Day 23

Who or what do you avoid on a daily basis?
I constantly avoid needless conflict… and I think most of it is needless. When I think something matters more than the discomfort and disharmony of conflict, I try to work it out as quickly as possible and then move on.

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by | August 9, 2012 · 8:00 pm

How to Change Your Mind… Or Not

As a sister, a friend, and a collegiate ministry staff member, I am occasionally asked for advice. Sometimes I am not sure what to say at first, so I ask questions. On occasions when I know exactly what to say, I still ask questions. I have discovered that most of the time, people need to discuss it or figure out the answer to their dilemma on their own.

For instance, a common question is about whether or not to reverse a past decision. Whether you are reconsidering a relationship change, a job, a school, or something else, there is nothing wrong with reevaluating decisions, the key is to ask insightful questions.

When you think you want to change your mind about a past decision or begin to think you made the wrong choice, ask yourself these questions:
1. What were my reasons for making the original decision?
2. Are those reasons still valid?
3. Do I have new information that I didn’t have previously?
4. Does any new information outweigh the original reasons for the choice?
5. Does any new information reinforce the original reasons for the choice?
6. What would I advise someone else to do in a similar situation? (Sometimes this perspective shift can help me see around purely emotional reasoning. While emotions are valid indicators, mine are changeful and should not be the basis for decisions.)

What other questions would you add? How do you evaluate decisions?

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