The Blue Butterfly Journal

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This week I finished a journal I began on October 1, 2011. It is not an unusual milestone, I fill at least one journal a year and have a collection of them spanning more than a decade without gaps.

When I near the end of a book, I love to read back over the pages of that life “chapter.” As I reminisce about what changed and what stayed the same, I begin to notice themes in what I wrote and what God taught me. Here are the two most significant themes, along with related thoughts and excerpts.

Theme #1: Don’t worry or panic

  • I don’t want to pull away from what God is doing even when it seems strange or uncomfortable or risky, instead I need to stay and watch from the unique vantage point He has given me.
  • God has everything under control and does not need my help to make His plans happen.
  • He wants me to chose to be involved in what He is doing and will not let me miss out on His will just because I can be clueless and oblivious to what is really going on.
  • He is more than capable of getting my attention, especially when I spend time with Him often and practice doing what He says.
  • I’m growing in attentiveness to God and what He says.
  • I know Him a little better (and want to know far more) than I did in October.
  • When I actively pay attention to God and what He is doing, all my anxious thoughts and questions fade to silence. They are irrelevant when I recognize again how powerful and loving and trustworthy God is. I don’t need to ask, I don’t need to know exactly what is going on because I know Him and that is more than enough.

Theme #2: How God sees me and what He says about me

  • He delights in every detail of my life.
  • He loves to show off what He is doing in me and is proud of who He made me.
  • He is in no way ashamed of me.
  • He knows I am not perfect yet but assures me that we are on the way to perfection and He will get me there if I stick with Him.
  • He loves to surprise and astound me and He is more creative than even my wild imagination can guess.
  • I have nothing to prove to Him because He knows my heart, with all its desires and secrets, even better than I do.
  • His Spirit within me is my undaunted, untamable, steady and unflinching core.

My favorite theme from this journal is the truth that melts my worry and stubborn resistance every time I remember: I am completely safe with God.

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